We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
