....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
My dick has a subreddit
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
