Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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