We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
