so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
