if i can run in heels then i can drive
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
A Guy Sent A Woman What May Be The Craziest Breakup Text Ever
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
28 Completely Safe For Work Pictures Of Genitals
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.