i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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