wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
