I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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