Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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