my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
