Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
