My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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