i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
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If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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