This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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