6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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