And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
