What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
