oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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