was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
