dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize