she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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