hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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