Please don't use social media to get back at me.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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