What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
