4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
