ugly people sure do ruin things
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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