sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
