This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
well you can't waste a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize