it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Fuck appropriateness.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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