he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
