I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
