Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
