remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
