Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
