If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize