we're chasing vodka with high fives
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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