I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
The air taste purple.
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