I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
