I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
