I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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