She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
