come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
