Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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