return my video game
...so i touched it.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
My liver just had a heart attack.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
