Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
