Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
