Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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