I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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