I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
