That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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