I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize