My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Randomize
