so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
