I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
