I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
