I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
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