i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
