He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
and she was petting her beer can
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
