Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
